Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Why does time pass so quickly....

The second time in a week we have had a beautiful rainbow! This time we could see where it began and ended! I wish my camera could capture it better.
Norm has been busy planting and cutting hay...we have 200+ round bails cut so far....150 acres of soybeans in the ground, 43 acres of corn so far...and if the rain would stop he could get the rest of the beans and corn in the ground, and get all the hay up. We dont mind the rain one bit...only pray that it will still be raining in the summer....the last few years of drought have been hard. People think when they see this much land that we are rich...I have to laugh ...we are no different than anyone else trying to get by in this tough economy..jobs are scarce and non-existent here right now, and if you farm you know that it wont make you rich! Guess when we win the lottery and can buy a bunch more land, and a huge cattle ranch then we can say we are rich! One day....I guess we should start playing the lottery to even have that happen huh? But all the money in the world wouldnt change that we love where we live, even the hard times are softened with a trip through the farm! It never ceases to make me smile inside and out. About a month ago, it was early evening, sun just going down and the grass had really sprung up along the roadside and I was driving from one end of the farm to the other, the frogs had come out, bugs making their summertime noises and I thought to myself..This is the best day of the whole year....that first time you know summer is around the corner and the world starts waking up from winter. I dont think there is anything like it. My farm dreams have come true and to raise my kids on such a beautiful peace of land is so awesome! I've dreamed of being able to give this to my children and never thought that one day we would be living this dream. But here I am, and it never ceases to amaze me each day...I think feeling so blessed every morning when you wake up is the best feeling in the world.
When I look back at my life, I'm ashamed of the stupid things I've done or said, I can see the lack of commitment I had to God. I wish I could set it all right with those I've hurt or made as "enemies". I wish they all could know me now, know who I am today, rather than remember me as I was. If I could mend all the bridges I would. I'm sure there are still going to be people who will never realize that my life is a completely different life for me - I am completely different. I guess it's something I need to come to terms with. I guess I should have the satisfaction of having a daily presence and commitment to God in my life, the friends that I've made who are more like family and enrich my life rather than hold me back or to a level I shouldnt be at, or that I'm a great mom, and I love my kids with all that I am and that they too love me, or that I have such a wonderful man in my life who grounds me and loves me - for the first time I get to experience that...there is so much more to me than they know....I am most thankful that the only one who matters...God...has forgiveness and always walks alongside of us, and can pull us up from dark places and give us new life, in this world too, not just when we pass. He can and does answer prayers even those half hearted ones. He can pull you up..you just need to ask. I think that I am so appreciative today for all that I have good in my life because of the STUPID choices I've made in the past! We all fall from God, we all have our skeletons, I'm just glad that we have the ability to change our lives.
So even if I havent accomplished the flowerbeds being finished, my pond being dug, my round pen being built or the chicken coop and goat shed not started, or the new flooring not done in the house and I still have ancient gold carpet from the 60's, or green linoleum in my kitchen - avocado no less, or that I've gained way too much weight, or miss my daughter like crazy when she isnt here, or there are people who will never believe these words,etc......I still have so much to be thankful for. And I am.
This week my daughter was promoted from 8th grade...she is now a high school student.....While at her ceremony I was so proud of the young lady she has become, yet so sad that my little girl, my baby..is no longer a kid...she is growing up so fast. I couldnt help thinking of the day she was born and how the thought of my little baby becoming a middle school student - and now a high schooler was unthinkable!!!! With each milestone - she has come out ahead and on top above her peers. I'm proud of the great job we (as her parents) have done, and must pat myself on the back sometimes for the job I've - we've- done.... she has so many that love her, a great father, and a step mother who has loved her as her own...I'm thankful that Leah has had such support in her life from all her family members and wonderful friends who have all helped make her who she is today. It is bitter-sweet watching your children grow up....your so proud and happy of them each day, yet long for them to be wrapped up small and snug, sleeping in your arms as a new baby. I mess the smells, the sounds, how they look in their adorable baby clothes. Their small warm heads sleeping on your shoulder. Those huge baby smiles and those first slobbery kisses they give you. I'll never forget that first kiss she gave us at her fathers aunts house....she wouldnt stop giving kisses...her face all lit up at her new accomplishment and how she was enjoying making us laugh! Now my baby is a teenager, going into high school, and making her own way into the world. Scary really to let them grow up. But regardless of all I miss when she was a baby.....I'm so proud of her, and it is a joy every day at seeing the young lady she has become and the young woman she will soon grow into.
8th grade awards ceremony - yes I'm much shorter than she is, another daily reminder that she is growing up!
Soon it will be my sons time to leave elementary school and enter middle school...and soon into high school before I know it..he is almost taller than me..maybe shorter by half and inch - or less. I guess then I'll really feel old! Why does time pass so quickly????

6 comments:

  1. I couldn't of said it better!!! I think the same way!!! I love the country life even if it is small and I am not rich, I still love it and wouln't want to be anywhere else!

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  2. I have missed seeing you around! Yes time goes by too quickly. My oldest is on his way to high school this coming yr. It seems like yesterday he was 4. My little man just graduated from preschool!! I can't believe it. Glad to hear you are happy and I always say "you are living the life that one day I will be living" Keep your eyes open for jobs and let me know. My hubby is always looking :) Keep intouch and you can't follow my blog since you are already following it...LOL!! Take Care <3

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  3. I know you love your family. Just wait until your a grandmother and the grandkids land on you at full force. It's wounderful. When it gets to much you can always send them back to Mom and Dad.

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  4. Thanks guys! It was a personal post, I am always not sure if I tell to much, but this is to document me and our farm...(I will keep my eyes open Karrie - what kind of work does he do?) for some reason its not showing in my updates (your blog that is) I'll just have to remember to check it!

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  5. Play the worlds largest puzzle n win a apple i-phone, digital cameras and ipods every week.

    click on the link below n win a I phone

    http://www.stay-sharp.in/staysharp/liptonLogin.aspx?um=1

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for visiting the farm! We love comments and hope to hear from you! ~ Rachel, Norm, Kiddos, and all our furry friends!